My Bloody Valentine 3D - 3.5/5

Alright folks, here it is. The remake of the cult classic "My Bloody Valentine"! I avoided it to begin with due to its 3D hurricane advertisements, partially cause I plain and simple don't enjoy many 3D films and the source material is pretty much shit. Now the original film had its moments but overall was hindered by horrible acting and sub par directing. This one however, had many more good moments, gave homage to those good moments in the original but mostly created a new world for Harry Warden to terrorize.

When going into this film one must understand that this is, still, indeed a slasher horror film. So the three things one will get in a slasher are: a) loads of gore b)loads of nudity and c)loads of creative deaths. So if you are going to watch "My Bloody Valentine" for its submersive plot twists and in deep character work then look elsewhere. It's not found here. Pretty straightforward throughout (the big twists come from the 'whodunnit' type guessing game towards the end) but otherwise its based on those 3 slasher requirements. And seriously, it gets those 3 items out of the way quickly. Right from the get go there is extensive gore and killings to establish the plot point that 'Warden is a very brutal killer and these our are main characters'. And soon after that there is a solid 10 minute scene of full female nudity - so if you want kids to watch it you might want to hold off for 10 years or so. By the time the actual story gets moving they've already hit the slasher requirements leaving all those starving horror fans satisfied and ready for some kind of thinking.

The film moves at a pretty quick pace which did wonders for the relatively simplistic story telling. I watched the film in its 2D format (did I already mention that 3D just doesn't float my boat?) so many of the obvious pulls at 'shit that flies at the audience' seemed cheesy at times but they made it fit with the story enough it didn't make me roll my eyes as "Friday The 13th Part 3" did.

So I did enjoy the film quite a bit by the end and it beats the hell out of its source material which although considered a classic is far from being even remotely good. Pretty solid slasher but don't expect it to boggle your mind or even challenge you at all. Enjoy it for what it is (just remember the 3 things!) and you will have a good time. 

Written By Matt Reifschneider