Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business - 1/5

I have actually come to a point in my life that I believe I have watched too many movies. The simple fact that I sat through "Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business", despite LOATHING "Universal Soldier II", proves to me I need to lay off films for a while and do some more house work my wife keeps nagging me about or perhaps do some more studying to get a masters degree in law. Hell mowing the lawn sounds much more exciting than sitting through this shit.

Now that I've calmed down a bit I must welcome you to another episode of the Universal Soldier TV show. This episode is titled "Unfinished Business." As you can tell from my sarcasm this TV junk sequel, like it's predecessor, has the exact same shitty "TV show" production values complete with the mind numbingly bad title sequence and an awful performance by Matt Battaglia. Also what's with the subtitle Unfinished Business? That has to be one of the most uninteresting subtitles to a an "action" film EVER! If it was up to me they should have left this sequel "unfinished" and let the negative rot in someone's wine cellar.

Our film takes place right after Universal Soldier II and after a lame recap of that film (which again reminds me of a two part TV episode), we have our GR 44 UniSol and his reporter girlfriend mourning the death of his brother. From there the plot is basically the same with them trying to bring down the corrupt government organization responsible for the Universal Soldier project and the government (lead by Burt Reynolds) trying to capture them. A snorefest ensues. Perhaps the most ridiculous concept is the introduction of the government growing universal soldiers from fetuses at an accelerated rate.

Instead of filming these two TV made sequels back-to-back, they should have concentrated on making one TV made sequel that actually have some QUALITY to it and perhaps a more condensed, comprehensive plot. As it is they made 2 shitty sequels instead of 1 decent one, spreading their sparse financial resources far too thin resulting in talky, nearly action-less and completely forgettable sequels to a surprisingly enjoyable original.

I got this film in a rare out-of-print Double Feature with Universal Soldier II at a Pawn shop for a measly $3. I have come to the conclusion that the Pawn Shop should have paid me $3 to take it off their hands. Why am I keeping it your asking? Well I keep it cause I like to fuck with people who think that the theatrical film Universal Soldier: The Return is the second film in the franchise until I blow the dust off this little turd on my DVD shelf. It's funny to see them get that quizzical yet excited look until they attempt to watch the damn things and their magical Universal Soldier imagination land comes crashing down in a wall of flame. Do yourself a favor, leave these sequels undiscovered. You will be much more happy, trust me.

Written By Eric Reifschneider