Beneath (2007)

Think I will take a nap now, because this film is boring.

Hey hey hey! My first non animated review for the site. Yay me! Boy did I pick a great one to start with (sarcasm). "Beneath" is directed by Dagen Merrill (Broken Hill) with a cast of Nora Zehetner, Carly Pope, Matthew Settle and Jessica Amlee.

After a horrific car crash that killed her older sister, Christy (Zehetner), our lead character, is forced to face her demons. Through visions and painful memories of watching her older sister burn alive, thanks to her shitty driving skills, we follow the story of a young woman dealing with some deep seeded pain. After years of being away from home Christy must return to attend a funeral were she is met by the townsfolk with cold shoulders and icy stares. Christy is tormented by her visions and is some how convinced that her older sister was buried alive, as you can imagine this theory is not a welcome one. From here the story unfolds into one big circle of depression and boredom. For a so called horror film, I found the scariest thing about this movie was "MTV Presents". "Beneath" has the look and feel of an after school special or at best a Lifetime movie. 

It seems to have been filmed with the enthusiasm of a dead animal.

Shit just got real! Yeah real boring!

Throughout this film I had to keep reminding myself that this was labeled as a horror film. It wasn't until the 3rd act that the film reminded me it was a horror film. It lasted all of one scene or 8 seconds. The characters were so blah with little developement or emotion. Other than the lead character we get shit for back story. The most compelling role in the entire movie was by the young Jessica Amlee as the messed up little kid character. All in all, I really can't think of any reason for someone to watch this movie. I know with a MTV label the target audience would be teens, but even so there is no way a teen would sit through this one.

"Beneath" hits on pretty much every cliche known to film, especially in the horror genre. If you feel like throwing something on the TV while you set in for a nap then click the link below and grab a copy.  No collection is complete without a shitty movie or two. With that said I give "Beneath" a

Written By John Price