Directed by: Glenn Danzig
Notable cast: Ashley Wisdom, Rachael Alig, Alice Tate, Kayden
Koss
Verotika, may I never again have to write so much
about so little, is based on Danzig’s own comic series, Verotik (violent/erotic.
Get it?) Glenn Danzig brings us an erotic horror anthology that offers nothing
erotic and nothing horrific save for the attempts at eroticism. Frankly, I have
no particular way to even fault it as an anthology in concept, but I would
really, really like to. I can, however, make fun of their attempt at a host
character Morella (I believe she is from the comic but, I have never read it
and am not inclined to put forth the effort to research it) and their attempts
at a “Cryptkeeper, but a hot girl” kind of thing. She has a few bits of
dialogue of which nothing is clever, funny, or involving a morbid pun, and her
portions are rarely even pertinent to the segment she’s hosting. This is just
the start to this anthology.
Verotika stumbles lazily into the first vignette
involving a woman with a strange physical deformity and an eight-armed
monstrous serial killer that they call “The Neck Breaker”. I will try to
summarize that again, but the details will only make that more confusing.
Dajette is a model who has significant trouble in her love life because her
breasts have eyeballs instead of nipples. After a sexual encounter sours due to
her abnormality, Dajette starts crying, tears falling from her boob-eyes. A
tear lands on an albino spider, and it transforms into a large multi-armed
monster man who’s addicted to breaking the necks of prostitutes and is only
active when Dajette sleeps. See, it feels like I’m rushing the synopsis again,
but I’m not. That’s a fairly accurate and literally beat by beat description. Eventually
Dajette can’t live with the guilt anymore and kills herself as the police catch
up with The Neck Breaker, ending his reign of terror.
So, the problems for this segment only begin with the plot,
non-sensical as it is, but it doesn’t have anywhere near the effects budget to
make any of this look even slightly realistic. I’m a fan of cheap, cheesy
horror, but everything in this movie looks like it was bought at a Halloween
store… and the clearance part at that. The heart breaker here is that of all
the stories presented in this anthology, this is the only one that has an idea.
Not one that is capitalized in any way, but the idea of a serial killer that’s
only active when you’re asleep… that taps into some of the same kind of fear
that a good werewolf movie does. There is potential in the concept, though I’m
not even sure the film makers were aware of what they had with that beat as it’s
completely squandered. All of that vitriol, and the real kicker? This is, by
far, the best and most functional part of Verotika.
Now the film rolls into the “story” of the face stealer. A
woman walks in an alley, another woman appears and announces that she’s going
to cut the first woman’s face off. The first woman says “Please, don’t cut off
my face” to no avail, and then there’s a five-minute dance at a strip club.
This basic pattern repeats several times, and that’s your second segment. No
motives, no characters, no real conflict. The mystery woman doesn’t even wear
the faces over her face… she just skins them and collects them. This really
stands as a perfect example of why people comparing Verotika to The
Room doesn’t really ring true for me. They are both functionally inept
passion projects from creators with no grasp on the film making process, but
where The Room is absolutely a comedy of errors whose fun is found in
its ineptitude, it’s also constantly fascinating. It throws everything at the
wall, and doesn’t even pay attention to what sticks or not. It is the work of
people who really wanted to make a successful dramatic film. Verotika is
the work of an established entertainer who wants to shock and titillate you. Much
like a porno, the stories presented here are secondary, even tertiary thoughts.
The third sequence is a take on the story of Elizabeth
Bathory, a countess who bathes in the blood of virgins. One of the virgins
escapes. She’s hunted down and the countess bathes in her blood. This screenplay
completely runs out of steam at this point. And that really is the sum total of
what happens in this sequence. Nothing in the run time of this film ever makes
sense as a narrative, and it’s directed and edited, in a strange way that
forces actors to just vamp for minutes at a time with nothing else going on. I
would legitimately guess more than half of the runtime of this film is just
actors mugging for the camera with no apparent direction.
What this all feels like is a heavy metal music video without
the heavy metal music or the hard runtime cap. With some re-editing to thrash
metal, any given segment could pass for pretty fun in that context. This movie
is also a pretty good example of why “pure shock” doesn’t actually work. Hostel
makes you have feelings about its characters, whether positive or negative,
before mutilating them. You have an investment in these people’s fates. Verotika
at no point even makes the effort to establish anything, and as such it ends up
as a dull, lifeless ride.
Written By Sean Caylor
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